I Had to Go
by The Peanut Butter General
Summary: What may have happened had Max listened to Zack and got out of Seattle


Date: 10/17/2001   
Title: I Had To Go   
Author: The Peanut Butter General  
Genres: Vignette Angst   
Content: Character death.   
Keywords: Alternate Universe.   
Rating: PG   
Spoilers: Blah Blah Woof Woof   
Summary: What may have happened had Max listened to Zack and got out of Seattle   
  
DISCLAIMER: All characters who appear in this story belong to their respective creators, including Cameron/Eglee Productions and 20th Century Studios. No money is being made from the use of these characters.   
  
I've been in Seattle for years now. I've made a life here. Friends, family even; Cindy and Kendra have become to me what Tinga and Jondy were when I was younger. They are my sisters, and I would do anything for them. And Logan, well he has become much more. I can't tell him how much more and how much he has come to mean to me. And now, now, here comes Zack. After ten years of searching he just strides into my bedroom and tells me that he has been in contact with all of the others over the past years. And me? Why didn't he contact me? Because I was not as careful as the others. Because I settled down and made a life for myself. So in he comes, telling me I have to move on. Why should I? He hasn't been there for me, my new family has. I came home from work, and he had packed my things.   
  
"Get on your bike and go." He commanded, like I'd listen to him. I can't just up and leave. But I know he is right and I know if I do leave, play the good soldier, that I will be part of my family again. So now what to do. I took my stuff, told Cindy and Kendra that I was going out of town for a couple of days, hell I even got the time off of work. And I could just leave. Couldn't I? All I have to do now is say my good-byes to Logan and I'll be on my way. Zack told me about a place in Iowa that he has set up. I can move out with him until we reach there. Then, I don't know. I've always wanted to see Vermont. I hear the snow is fantastic. So, do I go to Logan's and say good bye? Maybe I should leave him a nice note explaining why I had to leave. I can do this. I'm outside of Logan's apartment right now; I can see him sitting by the couch. Knowing him, probably reading some book or working on a story. Things would have been better if we had never met. He wouldn't be on my mind right now. I could just up and go, and not even care. But, now is not the time for regrets. Now is the time for action.   
  
"Logan?" I said as I entered the apartment.   
  
"Don't you ever knock?" He asked. Must be in a bad mood, I thought.   
  
"I just came to say..." I began, but he cut me off.   
  
"Came to say what, Max?" He glared. "I'm busy and I have a lot of work to get done. I need to finish my research. Then I'm going to need you to do some ground work for me."  
  
I scoffed. That was, after all, all he cared about. Me working for him. "I can't." I said. "Zack and I are leaving tonight."  
  
He just stared at me, mouth gapping open, eyes locked on my face. "Are you serious?" He asked.   
  
"I have to." I said. "We have to. It's getting to dangerous for me here. And Zack is worried that I might draw added attention to the family."  
  
He looked at me, still. I hoped that he would tell me not to go, beg me to stay, tell me he loved me, anything. I would stay here for him. Risk be damned, I was falling in love with him.   
  
"Do you need anything?" He asked. "Money, new identification papers, anything?"  
  
"No." I said, wanting to scream at him. "I just came to say good by." I walked over to him and leaned down to give him a hug. "There are so many things I wanted to tell you." I said, "But good bye will have to be the last."  
  
"You don't have to go." He said. "Just because Zack thinks it is not safe, doesn't mean you have to go."  
  
He held me close as he spoke. "I thought we were friends, Max. You can't just leave me."  
  
"I have to." I answered. "I'm sorry, I have to go." And with that, I hurried out of his apartment; tears flowed from my eyes. I waited, hoping he would call me back. His call never came.   
  
Zack and I left Seattle that night. We stayed together for a few days, until we reached his safe house. He gave me some cash, some clothes and a new ID. He told me he was sorry, that he had to drag me away. It was for my own safety, he kept saying. He told me as his sister, he was responsible for me, that he loved me like a sister and that he would die if anything ever happened to me. He said he felt that way about all of us, and that he would not rest until we were all safe. I cried, he cried. We hugged for a long time. He suggested I follow my heart to Vermont and settle there; he would find me again and ensure my safety. He was on his way to see Ben now. Ben was in trouble, Zack would help.   
  
So, I moved on to Vermont and for a year now, I have been happy. I'm working at a General store in a very small town. An older woman practically adopted me into her family. Her own daughter had been killed a few years ago. It's great. I love it here. Zack comes to visit ever so often, and the old woman just loves him to death. She feeds him and tends to him and thinks it is just wonderful that my brother travels so far to see me. And Zack, Zack always helps out when he's here. He does the work the old woman tells me only a man should do.   
  
After a while, the pain stopped. It only hits me when I see the "Eyes-Only" broadcast. Those eyes, staring at me, like they had the night I left. Would Logan even recognize me if he saw me now? My hair's blond and I've gained about ten pounds. Zack said the more weight I carried, the warmer I'd be. I told him, last time he was here, that I wanted to go back to Seattle. I miss Cindy and Kendra. I didn't tell him I missed Logan. I thought that he would say no, but to my surprise, he told me to go. He just warned that I be careful and asked that I returned to Vermont with in a month. The old woman and my boss were more than glad to wish me well as I set out for Seattle.   
  
I drove there in record time. The roads had changed; so much had changed. I went to my building, and it was gone. No building, a woman on the street said it collapsed a few months ago. I actually shed a tear for that dump, before moving on to Jam Pony. When I arrived, everything there had changed too. I sauntered into the building, expecting to see Normal behind the counter. In his place was an overweight woman with frizzy hair. She just looked at me.   
  
"Hi." I said and flashed my smile. "I'm looking for Original Cindy. Is she working today?" I smiled again.   
  
"No one by that name here, sweetheart." The woman replied.   
  
"How about Sketchy? Is he here?"  
  
"No." She said, "I fired him months ago."  
  
"How about..." I began, but she cut me off.   
"I fired them all." She said. "After I brought this place, I fired the whole useless bunch of them. Don't know what happened to them and frankly I don't care." With that said, the woman shooed me from the building.   
  
Outside, it had begun to rain. I pulled my coat up around me and hustled back to my bike. I jumped on and headed toward Logan's place. His street looked like it had been attacked. Potholes and broken cement were everywhere. Buildings looked like they were about to fall. I carefully entered his building and climbed to his apartment. It had been a year, actually more, since I last saw him. I stood at the door and knocked softly.   
  
"Can I help you?" A woman said as she opened the door.   
  
"I - I'm looking for Logan Cale." I said.   
  
"Oh." She said, disappointed.   
  
"Well, please come in." He tone turned to one of annoyance, almost meanness. I entered the apartment and looked around. Most of Logan's artwork was gone, his furniture replaced by older, less attractive pieces. His kitchen was a mess.   
  
"Please wait here." The woman said. I sized her up as she walked away. Cute, not gorgeous, but cute. Little blond thing with a nice body. "He says he can't help you today." The woman said as she returned from the back room. "I'm sorry, you'll have to come back next week."  
  
"No." I said. "I'm not here for help. I'm - I'm an old friend."  
  
I looked at her and smiled. The woman inhaled deeply and loudly, it echoed throughout the room. "Fine." She snapped.   
  
I stood there waiting until he came out. He looked horrible, his eyes were swollen and reddish, large black circles were underneath. His chair squeaked as he wheeled into the room, his hair and beard were long overgrown and his clothes were dirty and wrinkled. Never before had I seen him look like this.   
  
"Hey." I said.   
  
"I'm not helping anyone today." He said, looking at me. "I'm sorry. Come back next week."  
  
"Logan?" I asked. "Don't you remember me?"  
  
"I'm sorry." He said. "Do I know you?"  
  
"What's happened here?" I half shouted. "When I left you were clean and healthy. This building was in great condition. Cindy and Kendra could be found!"   
  
"Max?" He questioned.   
  
"Hey." I said again.   
  
"Hey, yourself." He smiled. "Come in and have a seat, a lot has happened since you left."  
  
Logan told me that there was an attack after I left town. My old apartment had been knocked down. Cindy and Kendra had left Seattle and headed to Los Angeles. Manticore had torn through the town searching for me. Buildings and roads were destroyed. Logan said that he was glad I left when I did, because I was safe. I just sat and cried, Zack never told me.   
  
"Susan is my wife." Logan finally said. "We married a few months ago. She's having my child."  
  
I tried to muster up everything I could to smile, but it was barely enough. "Congratulations." I said and rose to hug him. Before I could, he pushed out his hand and took mine, shaking it, he said thank you. I quickly decided it was time to leave and said good bye to Logan and his new wife. I practically ran down the stairs to the street, and found Zack waiting by my bike.   
  
"I couldn't tell you." He said. "I didn't think you'd believe me. If we hadn't gotten you out when we did, you'd likely be dead." Zack raised his arm and hugged me.   
  
"You could have said something. Warned me, anything!" I screamed.   
  
"No." He said softly. "You needed to see for yourself."  
  
I just leaned in his arms and cried as he stroked my hair. I couldn't believe what had happened, because of me. All because of me! Seattle was nearly destroyed. My friends were forced out of their home, their jobs. The one man I loved, married and with a child on the way. I just stood there in my brother's arms and cried. Zack helped me back on my bike and took me home, home to Vermont. He said I could stay there, safely. He would ensure it. But he warned me. "Next time," he had said, "next time I tell you to move out, you listen" And I did, after that every time Zack said those cold words "Your position has been detected" I left.   
  
I returned to Seattle one more time, ten years later. I stood in the rain and watched at a distance as they buried Mr. Logan Cale. An X-7 had managed to track down "Eyes-Only", and kill him. And there was no one there to protect him. 


End file.
